


Pick Me, Choose Me, Love Me

by LittleMissDaydreamer



Category: InuYasha - A Feudal Fairy Tale
Genre: Choose me, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Forehead Kisses, Grey's Anatomy inspired, Pick Me, cute nicknames, love me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-15
Updated: 2020-12-15
Packaged: 2021-03-10 21:54:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,256
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28084248
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LittleMissDaydreamer/pseuds/LittleMissDaydreamer
Summary: A little InuKag oneshot inspired by a famous Grey's Anatomy quote.
Relationships: Higurashi Kagome/InuYasha
Comments: 5
Kudos: 34





	Pick Me, Choose Me, Love Me

**Author's Note:**

> I was rewatching Grey's Anatomy and it was the "pick me, choose me, love me" episode and when I heard it I immediately thought of Inuyasha, Kagome, and Kikyo. Thus, this little work was born. Please enjoy my first fic.
> 
> Italics indicate inner thoughts.

“Kagome! Wait!”

She refused. She pushed her legs faster and harder just to get away from him. She couldn’t do it anymore. Didn’t _want_ to do it anymore. She was tired. Tired of not seeing her family every day. Tired of being behind in class. Tired of not being normal. Tired of being second fiddle to a woman who wasn’t even _alive_ anymore. She was tired of being the ‘jewel shard detector.’ All for what? All for a stupid hanyo who didn’t even care about her, who yelled at her at any given moment. Someone who had no shame in sulking away in the middle of the night for a secret rendezvous he didn’t think she knew about. She couldn’t do it anymore. _Love_ wasn’t supposed to feel like this. Wasn’t supposed to _hurt_. Wasn’t supposed to make you feel worthless.

This wasn’t love. And the sudden realization hurt her more than any demon could. 

So she ran. She kept going. She didn’t stop, didn’t look back. She heard him calling, screaming her name, telling her to stop. But she couldn’t. She wanted to be alone. Wanted to let her tears flow freely. Wanted to sob and scream into the forest without being ashamed of what she was feeling. 

Ever since that fateful first day they met, it was always Kikyo. The first words uttered from the amber eyed demon had been her name and every opportunity since then, he wasn’t afraid to call her out on her behaviors that reminded him of her reincarnation.

_It’s not my fault, damnit! How can I stop being someone who I didn’t even know existed? Why can't he just stop comparing me to her and see me as I am, as Ka-go-me._

When she felt her lungs almost give out, she braced her hands on her knees, and used that small moment to catch her breath. Looking around, she realizes she’s near the Goshinboku. 

_Of course,_ she thought, _where else would I end up?_

The place that started it all. The only place in this era that reminded her of home. With the last of her strength she pushed herself forward and dragged her feet towards the Tree of Ages. Taking in her surroundings and feeling the chill in the air. She wraps her arms around herself and listens to the sounds the forest provides. 

When she arrives at the tree she sits and leans the side of her body on it. Temple resting against the trunk and knees pulled to her chest. 

She lets it out. All the frustrations. All the love, all the heartache she feels for Inuyasha. Heavy sobs wracked her body as she let out all her emotions. Wails she hopes go unnoticed by the forest dwellers leave her. Everything that has built up threatening to overcome her entire being. All the hurtful words Inuyasha has spoken come running back to her. All his grumpiness, all his harsh words. Everything about the mean hanyo comes back at her tenfold.

Deep down, she knows he’s always so gruff and grumpy because of the way he was raised. 

_Or lack thereof,_ she thinks bitterly. 

A sob leaves her throat as she imagines tiny Inuyasha running from villagers because he’s half demon and hiding in the woods from demons hunting him because he’s half human. 

_Stupid. Why is everyone and everything so stupid. They act like Inuyasha asked to be born like that. That he knew he would be shunned and outcast because of who he is, and yet was born anyway. Why can’t they see what I see?_

Someone who was so torn, and so broken that all he wanted was someone to care. Love him. Someone who bleeds for those he cares about, protects so fiercely that nothing is left for himself. Inuyasha, who has walls built around his heart because he can’t bear to let anyone else in. Can’t bear to feel the pain of losing someone he cares about again. So what does he do? Keeps them at an arm's distance so he can easily push them away.

But not Kagome. She sees through his façade. Knows he’s grumpy because he can’t express himself. Knows the meaning behind every ‘keh’ he utters and fully understands what he’s trying to say with so few words. 

_And yet, I’m not the one his heart wants. I’m not the one he yearns for. I know how he feels about everyone else. Shippo, Sango, Miroku, even his brother, Sesshomaru, but what about me? Where do I stand? Does he see me as an accomplice? A confidant? Just some girl that hangs around him?_

Her tears start to ebb and flow at her insecurity as she gets lost in her thoughts. A tightness in her chest jeopardizes her heartbeat and she wonders if this is what a broken heart feels like.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Damn it! Kagome, where are you?!”

He fucked up, and he knew it. Inuyasha royally fucked up and he was at a loss for how to fix it. He was running after her, searching the forest for her. He tried to concentrate on her scent. Something so warm and inviting he was confident he would always be able to find her. However, at this moment, other emotions were interfering and distracting the distraught hanyo. Embarrassment, shame, pain, and worst of all, tears. He knew it was a mistake to follow the soul-collectors, to see Kikyo. But he needed information. She was an asset to his mission, and he’d be damned if anyone or anything else interfered. 

A small part of him, also longed to just see her. See her face, her miko attire, her bow and arrow. Attributes that were wholly her it brought him back 50 years into the past. A time when he was content with his life and ready to settle into a gentle routine with the miko. Ready to just spend his days with her.

 _Kikyo._ That thought alone caused the half-demon to stop in his tracks and halt his search for the modern day miko. 

_Kikyo. The first woman since my mother who cared for me. Felt something for me, made me feel something I hadn’t experienced yet in my 100+ years of living. Someone who I could spend the rest of my days with._

_She loved me back, she wanted me. We could’ve been happy. ‘Stupid Naraku,’_ he thought bitterly. _‘Stupid Onigumo,’_ he reiterated. 

_All I had to do was make that stupid wish and she would’ve been free. She could still be a Miko, I wouldn’t have stopped her, I would’ve fought beside her and protected that stupid little village. She would’ve been free, no longer bound to the jewel as it’s protector, we could’ve been happy._

_Human._ Inuyasha glanced down at his claws and tried to remember what his hands looked like on his human nights. No more claws, puppy ears, heightened sense of smell, or strength. He could just be.

 _She loved me, right? She wanted to use the jewel to ensure we would be together, right? No one wants to be caught dead in a relationship with a demon. It was the best solution for them. He had to turn human for her, for Kikyo._

Looking back, what they both failed to realize is that even if things had gone according to plan, the jewel would have distorted the wish somehow and in the end no one would get what they wanted and the jewel would still be in existence. 

He continued his search for the younger miko. Ran through the woods, honing-in on her scent. The lingering smell of tears overwhelming his senses and the sudden realization he was the reason he caused them. 

_Fuck,_ he internally curses himself.

 _Kagome._ The thought of the black-haired beauty immediately filled his being with a warmth that only came from thoughts of her. _Kagome._ The spit-fire who wasn’t afraid to yell at him when he was being a stubborn asshole. Someone who wasn’t scared to wear her heart on her sleeve and selflessly and openly care for those close to her heart. Always running to protect Shippo, Miroku, Sango, or even himself when they were in danger. 

_Someone who can’t protect herself as well as everyone else, yet is the first person to throw herself in the line of fire for everyone else._

The look in her eyes when he turned around and saw her watching them was enough to make him run to his brother and ask him to put him out of his own misery. 

_We weren’t doing anything, just talking about the last known whereabouts of Naraku’s counterparts._

But that wasn’t true, was it? He inhales deeply and thinks back to that moment. He and Kikyo were standing so close together, his hands tucked under her bent elbows and her hands placed on his arms. To them, they were comforting each other. Talking about the destruction in the next village over and how Kikyo blamed herself for not getting there in time. All the lives lost and how she could have been faster and more helpful to those people if she were actually alive. Inuyasha, soft-hearted as he is for the women in his life, did what he knew always worked with Kagome. Some form of physical touch, and reassuring words to let her know it wasn’t her fault.

To someone stumbling upon the scene, it looked like two lovers embracing each other. Two people who would go to hell for each other and were about to share an intimate and private moment. Due to Inuyasha's unfortunate trail of bad luck, this is the moment that Kagome stumbled upon when she finally decided to take the demon slayer and monks advice that evening and follow the hanyo when the soul collectors came to collect him. 

_Why doesn’t she get it?! I have to do this. I need to end this. That stupid jewel needs to disappear, and Kikyo’s soul needs to finally be put to rest. I need to do this, Kagome. I need to destroy the jewel. Send Kikyo’s soul to a resting place. I need to make sure this ends in our favor; I need to do this to keep you safe._

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_Of course, where else would she go?_ He thought to himself. 

Her smell finally wafts up to his nose. Jasmine and the crisp clean smell of water. Something so warm, welcoming, and intoxicating, that it always drove him to near madness whenever she went home to battle those ‘tests’ the school put her through. 

_Keh, and every time she comes back through the well she always has a smile on her face. Letting us know she did well. Of course should would take down those stupid tests, my woman always pulls through._

Inuyasha follows her scent and it leads him to the base of the Goshinboku. The place they first met. Stupidly, he recalls the first thing he ever said to her. It wasn’t the familiar Ka-go-me, but _her_ name. Kami, they looked so much alike, but the half demon knew that their differences are what drew him to the time traveler. 

“What do you want, Inuyasha?”

“I-,” he paused. He didn’t know what he was going to say actually. He just knew that he needed to find her. Make sure she is safe. 

“Well?” Her back is to him. Instead, choosing to lean sideways against a tree trunk with her knees pulled up to her chest. Her bow and quiver lying next to her.

“Kagome, I-. It’s not what you think,” the hanyo finally mumbles out. 

“Oh? What do I think then, Inuyasha?” she mumbles out tiredly. Resolute in her decision, she wants this interaction done and over with so she can tell him. She’s leaving. Have Kikyo take her spot instead. She was done. 

Inuyasha growls. “Nothing. Happened. Whatever you think happened, or is happening, is something your imagination is running away with. We were just talking.” 

_Shit, way to go you dumb dog, insult her why don’t you._

Kagome turns her head to look at him and raises an eyebrow, as if to say ‘yeah? nothing happened? you guys weren’t holding each other?’

 _Just rip the bandaid off and go,_ she tells herself.

She stands up, brushes the dirt and grass from her skirt and turns around to face the half demon. Drinking in the sight of him while she still can. Hand on the hilt of his sword, ready to spring into action should the need arise. Hair, long and silver flowing down his back as if he didn’t just run across the forest to her. His demeanor, battle ready, yet something there that showed a hint of something else. Like he wasn't ready to spring into action to fight off rogue demons, moreso, like he was ready to fight for something else. 

“Let’s go back to Kaede’s hut. I need to get my stuff and say goodbye.” she mutters sadly. “I-” she hesitates. “I don't think this is working out anymore. I think I should stay on my side of the well.”

 _What?_ he thinks to himself. Eyes widening, _she can’t mean._

“What do you mean ‘stay on my side of the well?’” he asks quietly, hoping she doesn’t hear. That way, he surmises, she won’t answer. 

“I think it would be better for everyone if I stayed on my side. There are other people more capable than me who would be better suited to help you look for the rest of the shards.” she looked at him then, hoping he would get her hidden meaning. 

He did.

Inuyasha growled and stalked over to his miko. His body shaking with unreleased rage. Sadness. And hopelessness. He was scared. He knew this would not end this way. He needed to fix this. He needed to do something. Or say something. Anything, to make her stay. 

“No.” he stated resolutely. “You’re not running away. Not again. Not this time. Talk to me, Kagome. You told me you want to stay by my side. And, I intend to finish this mission the way it started it, with you. So tell me, what’s wrong?”

“Nothings wrong Inuyasha. I’m just tired. I wanna go home. Be with my family. It’s… starting to weigh down on me. I know I'm helpful to an extent, but there are people who are better than me and would be more useful for you.” she speaks into the ground. Knowing if she looks up into his eyes she’ll crumble. She’ll tell him exactly what he needs to do to fix this. 

_But is that what he really wants? Me to be here with him? Or just because I’m familiar? Because I make him comfortable?_

“DAMN IT. Kagome just tell me what you want! Is it Koga?! Is that what will keep you here? We can’t finish this mission without you! Is it that weak pathetic Hobo guy? Do you want to go home more often? What, Kagome! I’m tired of this self-loathing shit that always comes from you whenever I try to get information. Why. Won’t. You. Talk. To. Me!”

“God damnit, Inuyasha!” Here it goes. She was about to unleash all hell. The moment she does, the second those words leave her mouth, there is no going back. No backtracking, no take-backsies, no ‘just forget it ever happened.’ It was now or never.

“Okay, here it is. Your choice,” her voice was soft but filled with a harshness of someone who was exhausted. Inuyasha braced himself, preparing for the worst and ready to launch a full-out verbal attack should it come to that. 

_Whatever you say, Kagome, you are not leaving me. You can’t._

“It’s simple,” she continued. “Her or me,” she said with a note of finality that had his ears stand at attention and swivel towards her. 

“I’m tired, Inuyasha. Tired of feeling like second-best. Tired of being yelled at, picked on, and made to feel like I’m nothing. I’m tired of trying to live up to your expectations of Kikyo. Because frankly, I’m not her, and I never will be. I can’t give you that same ‘first love’ experience she gave you, but I can promise you that I will never ask something of you that you don’t want to do. I don’t want you to change, or turn into anything or anyone else because you think it’s what I would want. I want you, for you.”

 _Don’t back down now, Higurashi. You’re almost there._

“I love you,” she whispers, “As you are. Grumpy hanyo, with a bad attitude, puppy ears, and all. I won’t beg for your affections, and I’ve never spoken up before now because I wanted you to come to a decision on your own, but I can’t take it anymore, I’m tired. Inuyasha. You asked me to talk, you asked me to tell you what I want, so here it is, pick me. Choose me. Love me.” 

It hit him like a ton of bricks. _Kagome loves me? For me?_ Suddenly, flashbacks of his full demon transformation return to him. Kagome trying to calm him down. Trying to bring him back. Making sure he didn’t hurt himself or anyone else. Again, putting her life in danger, all for his sake. To make sure he was safe, that he came back to them. To her. And what did the stupid woman do afterwards? Comforted him. Took care of him. Tended to his wounds. Ensured him that he was safe, that he was okay. Made sure he knew that she wasn’t mad. That she didn’t blame him for anything that happened.

Suddenly, he looks into her eyes, those beautiful brown eyes. So comforting, and warm, and welcoming. His heartstrings snap at the sudden realization that Kagome has never wanted him to be anything but himself. Never wanted him to be full human, or full demon. She accepted him just as he was, as Inuyasha. 

_Stupid, woman. She thinks there’s a choice I need to make? How has she not noticed? How can she not tell? There has only ever been one person that has captured my heart, and it was her._

Sure, he loved Kikyo. At least he thought he did. From what he remembered from his mom, love was selfless, kind, and forgiving. Love was supposed to feel like coming home to a warm hut with the fire burning on a cold winter day. The feeling you get when you eat your favorite meal when you’re feeling sad. Love was when you looked at someone and knew without a shadow of a doubt, that you meant something to that person, and vice versa. To him, love was unquestionable, because in the end, the lack of trust between him and Kikyo is what ultimately led to their downfall. 

For all her anger and frustration with Inuyasha, he knew her trust in him was unflappable. He knew that Kagome was always waiting for him when she was captured or kidnapped. She always knew he would come to her rescue, no matter what event preceded their fight against a demon.

Kagome was all emotions 24/7 and was never afraid to show how she felt. Whether it was being angry as hell because he and Shippo were fighting, holding back tears because he or someone else had gotten injured, or laughing so hard she ended up rolling on the ground laughing from something stupid Miroku said. Always offering the last of the ninja food to him or anyone else, making sure everyone else was always full and fed. Always making sure she investigated anyone they crossed paths with and insisted they check-out whatever mysterious claim or demon that was plaguing their village.

Kagome was love personified. And yet, here Inuyasha was, making this amazing woman feel insecure. He had never told her, never reassured her, nor hinted at the fact that she didn’t just mean anything to him, but that she meant everything to him. Every new technique Tessaiga learned was due to his raw desire of wanting to protect her, making sure he was strong enough for her, to make sure nothing bad happened to her. 

Inuyasha knew then, that in that instant, he had to let his guard down. Had to let her in. Had to be the best person he could be, for her, for _Kagome._

“Kagome,” he whispered. She looked up at him, his voice unlike anything she’s heard from him before. That one word, her name, so gentle and cherished she felt her insides turn to mush. 

He took a deep breath. He didn’t know where to start. Didn’t know how to express his emotions. All he knew was that it needed to be done, or else he would lose her. Forever.

“I-. I don’t know what I’m doing. Or what to say, or even what I’m about to say. All I know is that I need to tell you this, before it’s too late.”

Hesitantly, he reaches out. Uses his eyes to ask for permission, unmoving and frozen in place until he sees a small nod of her head. He grabs her hand and pulls her forward until they are close enough to feel the heat radiating from each other’s body’s, but not quite touching.

He moves his hand to gently sit on her waist, with the other following. He needed to do this right. He had one chance, and as forgiving as his woman is, he knew this could make or break their relationship. 

“I’m just going to outright say it…”

This is it. Everything stops. No cool evening breeze. No crickets chirping, no birds singing. Time has stopped and the two would be lovers stand frozen in place, staring at each other, one bad piece of news away from breaking into a million tiny pieces. 

“I choose you.”

 _Holy shit,_ she thinks. _Did he just…_

“Kagome,” he raises one hand and uses a bent index finger to lift her chin slightly, so they were eye to eye. “I choose you. It’s always been you. I know I haven’t given you any reason to believe that, but I-,” 

_Inuyasha, if you don’t tell her now, you probably never will. Suck it up. Take a damn breath, and spit it out,_ he scolds himself.

“I love you.”

Her eyes widened. Her breath hitches. A warm and tingly feeling overtakes her heart and for a split second she swears she’s dreaming. Any second she’ll wake up and she’ll see him sitting up high in a tree in a light slumber. Miroku sitting at the trunk holding his staff. Sango curled up around Kirara for warmth, and Shippo nestled in the safety of her arms. 

But that doesn’t happen. 

“I choose you,” he reiterates. “I know you have no reason to believe me when I say this, but I’ve always chosen you, Kagome. Time and time again. Yes, I’m still loyal to _her,_ ” he says, not wanting to ruin the moment by saying her name. “But I just want her to rest in peace. She travels alone and wears her miko attire so people tell her things, she can sense Naraku easily because that’s what her soul, well your soul technically, is now committed to. Why do you think, silly girl, that I’ve never asked her to join us while we travel?” He smirks down at the speechless miko in his hold.

Kagome pauses and thinks, _why hasn’t he asked her to join us? Surely he would have. To keep her close. To protect her. To be around her._

She gazes at him questionly hoping he would answer his own question. 

“Because, not only is her mission different, but the Kikyo walking around now is made up of clay and burial dirt. And even if she were alive, it would be more out of obligation, ‘Gome.” 

She startles at her shortened name. He only ever called her that in private, when it was just the two of them. Kagome surmised he only used it when ‘he was feeling some type of way.’

“I’m with you, because I want to be. I keep you close, because I want to protect you. I hate when you go back home because for the duration of your stay over there, you’re not close to me. ‘Gome, I love you, because I trust you. Completely. I’ve never had that with _anyone_ else.” he emphasizes

“Inu,” she breathes out. His admission forming a memory in her brain she knew she would never forget. This moment, engraving itself into her heart and sealing itself there with the warmth of the gaze he was sending her way.

His ears stand at attention to hear the name his love has for him, knowing she only used it when she was feeling certain emotions. When she was feeling playful, when she was grateful, and now Inuyasha noted, when she was feeling loved.

Tentatively, she lays her head on his chest, moving her arms around his torso. Inuyasha follows suit by moving his arms around her back and holding her close. Breathing in her scent to help him capture this moment. 

Kagome pulls back slightly, brings her hand up to cup his cheek, and speaks softly, “let’s go back to the hut? It’s cold and I’m tired.” she says with a small smile.

He leans down and presses his lips to her forehead for a lingering kiss. He pulls back slightly, moving one hand to cup her cheek, he lays his forehead against hers and says, “Yes, my love. Let’s go.”

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you guys enjoyed! I had no idea what I was doing, but an idea popped into my head and I rolled with it.
> 
> Edited on: 12/15/2020 to add the coding for italics because I didn't know how to do it when I first posted this but wanted to do it anyway before I lost my nerve.


End file.
